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What it means to be Irish or part of an Irish family

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Ireland - Ireland General
Written by Eileen Magee   

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Sunday, 06 December 2009 14:40

Thanks to Eileen for providing the following contribution: what it means to be Irish.

What it means to be Irish…

…and have an Irish family—you will recognize a lot!

Here they are.

  1. You will never play professional basketball;
  2. You swear very often and really well;
  3. At least one of your cousins is a fireman, cop, bar owner, funeral home owner or holds political office. And you have at least one aunt who is a nun or uncle who's a priest;
  4. You think you sing very well;
  5. You have no idea how to make a long story short!
  6. There isn't a big difference between you losing your temper or killing someone…
  7. Most of your childhood meals were boiled. Instant potatoes were a mortal sin;
  8. You have never hit your head on a ceiling;
  9. You spent a good portion of your childhood kneeling in prayer;
  10. You're strangely poetic after a few beers;
  11. You are, therefore, poetic a lot;
  12. You will be punched for no good reason…a lot;
  13. Some punches directed at you are from legacies of past generations;
  14. Many of your sisters and/or cousins are named Mary, Catherine or Eileen…and there is at least one member of your family with the full name of Mary Catherine Eileen;
  15. Someone in your family is very generous. It is more than likely you;
  16. You may not know the words, but that doesn't stop you from singing;
  17. You can't wait for the other guy to stop talking before you start talking;
  18. You're not nearly as funny as you think you are…but what you lack in talent, you make up for in frequency;
  19. There wasn't a huge difference between your last wake and your last keg party;
  20. You are, or know someone, named Murph;
  21. If you're Irish American, you're descended from a horse thief, a member of the IRA, ancient Irish royalty or a combination of all three;
  22. If you're from Ireland and meet someone else from Ireland when traveling overseas, you'll spend hours if needed trying to figure out who you both know in common;
  23. If you don't know Murph then you know Mac. If you don't know Murph or Mac then you know Sully. Then you probably know McMurphy;
  24. You are genetically incapable of keeping a secret, but since you share things under the strictest confidentiality, that counts as keeping a secret;
  25. You have Irish Alzheimer's…you forget everything but the grudges;
  26. 'Irish Stew' is a euphemism for 'boiled leftovers';
  27. Gourmet eating involves soup, steak, potatoes and vegetables;
  28. All of your losses are alcohol-related (loss of driver's license, loss of money, loss of job, loss of significant other, loss of teeth from a punch…) but it never stops you from drinking;
  29. Your skin's ability to tan…not so much;
  30. You met your husband/wife/significant other/accountant /lawyer/landscaper/etc. in a bar/pub;
  31. Childhood remedies for the common cold often included some form of whiskey;
  32. There's no leaving a family party without saying goodbye for at least 45 minutes;
  33. At this very moment, you have at least two relatives who are not speaking to each other (not fighting, mind you, just not speaking to each other).

Happy St. Patrick's Day to my fellow Irishmen!!!

 

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